The Mudblood Conundrum
by mediaboy
Summary: Post the Wizarding-War, Hermione confronts Draco about the use of the word "Mudblood", forcing him to explain some parts of his point of view to her. This is a fairly short plotbunny that I made into a brief oneshot with no intention of expanding beyond this chapter. Anyone that has the patience to take this further is welcome to do so.


**AN: A friend of mine told me that this entire plotbunny was insensitive thanks to possible interpretations including justifying racism. To clarify: I think racism is a terrible and horrible thing, and the links between HP blood purity and real-world racism are undeniable in the canonverse. At the same time, HP is a work of fiction and choosing to interpret it on new terms and in new ways is the **_**fundament**_ **of fanfiction. Hopefully you will bear with me as I explore some ideas that have been floating around.**

"Malfoy, just what is your bloody problem?" Hermione's hands were firmly - and hence somewhat dangerously - perched on her hips, her nose upturned, her eyes narrowed at the blonde boy perched languorously on the edge of the window, "You storm around insulting all the Muggleborn, calling them mud-"

"Mudbloods?" His blonde eyebrow arched upwards as he twirled his wand idly around his fingers, "It's because you are Granger. Filth that live in the dirt. Barely better than _animals_." His voice hissed, "The Dark Lord might have been insane when your boyfriend cut him down but he wasn't entirely wrong."

"Harry isn't my boyfriend." The words were out of her lips before she thought about it, her arms crossing across her chest defensively, "And I don't see why you think that."

"Please Granger. What have Muggles achieved in the last two and a half thousand years? How about the last six thousand years?" He leaned forwards, a sneer sneaking onto his mouth, "You're pathetic, all of you. Give me one thing that Muggles can do that Wizards can't do better. Just one, and I might change my mind."

"Electricity." She sniffed haughtily, "You don't have anything like electricity."

Grey eyes rolled, "I thought you took Ancient Runes."

"What about it?"

"You haven't read ahead much then I take it." His wand was tossed into the air, turning lazily before his other hand caught it and started spinning it closer to the ground, "There isn't much on the Hogwarts syllabus I suppose, but runes are the fundaments of the schematics we use that can do so much more than electricity. With the right tools, runes last forever. Their effects are constant, unchanging, always consistent." He raised an eyebrow, "Think about it Granger, when you went to the loo at that grotto the redhead calls home, did you ever need to turn on a light? We're centuries ahead of you. We've had intent based home schema since the 11th century and you're barely getting to motion-activated lighting even now."

Hermione's eyes were rolling just as hard as she replied, "What about computers? Mobile phones? Laptops? No one here has anything like that."

"We're at boarding school. Who the fuck brings anything like that to boarding school? It's in the rulebook that they get confiscated and sent back home and frankly, I'd rather just not bother." He shuddered a bit, "You don't want to know what my mother would do. You didn't think we all got down on our knees and used the fireplace did you? Even with House Elves to clean up the house, we'd still get our robes dirty." His eyes bored into her, "Even my Father had a portable floo. I think Muggles use them to light cigarettes." He shuddered.

"Not even one of you breaks the rules?" A slight frown touched her brow again, "There isn't even one person that does it?"

"I think Daphne might have something." He saw the questionable look on her face, "Greengrass .The blonde one with blue eyes. The one that Harry has a crush on. She smokes, some exotic thing that stinks out the dorms. She could probably get away with it."

"Harry doesn't have a crush on her!" The words, once more, snapped out before she thought about them.

"Bit defensive aren't you Granger?" Draco paused, "And didn't Harry have some kind of communication with his Godfather back in 5th year? I thought he was always pissed off in 6th year cus he forgot about it and got him killed."

"He didn't get him killed!" She paused, "But yeah, okay, he had something I guess." She pointed a finger at him, making his eyes cross as he focused on it. "You still didn't tell me what you've got instead of computers. We don't just use them for pleasure and stuff."

"What do you call it? Word Processing?" He waited for her nod, "You know that you get dictaquills that write down literally what's inside your head? Quite expensive, of course, but very fast, very efficient. Very professional. And completely banned inside of the educational system." He raised a finger, "And when I say banned I mean that the wards will literally burn it up. Didn't you hear about that first year? Lilith Moon or whatever she was called. Had to replace her entire trunk when she tried to sneak one in, the idiot."

"What about things like spreadsheets? Databases?"

"Our ledger books are self-updating and easily searched, a tap of a wand brings any paperwork you want to hand." He stored his wand in a pocket and rose to his feet, "Frankly Granger, Muggles have systems that are slow compared to ours. I can go to my office and view the records of any of my companies from anywhere I want to view them from, instantly, at demand. And so can the Goblins, so they know exactly how much each of us has to pay in tax."

He lent forwards, "You know the last time a wizard tried to cheat the taxman?"

"Binns only ever talks about the Goblins."

"That's because Wizards have never tried to cheat the taxman." A slight chill seemed to run down his spine, "They don't even have to look, it tells them automatically. Big red flashing lights and everything. It's why goblins have unrestricted access to our vaults these days."

"But really, goblin revolts? Hasn't there been any recent events that Binns wants to talk about?"

"Binns, for all his sins, is a mudblood too." He raised an eyebrow, "Didn't you know this?"

"I always thought he was a pureblood, the way he went on about wizard superiority."

"Wizards _are_ superior."

"You aren't helping your point here Malfoy."

"And I don't see why anyone would ever think they weren't." He started walking down the corridor, making Hermione rush after him, "Muggles haven't even stopped theft yet."

"How would you stop it then?"

"How would I? How would I?" He stopped his pacing down the corridor to lean against a wall and laugh, "You don't think a society with instant teleportation didn't have issues with theft? Every time you buy an item, they have to turn off the portkey that's embedded into it that brings it straight back."

"But portkeys have to be made out of trash, don't they?"

"Only ones for transporting wizards around areas under the secrecy statue." He raised an eye, "You don't think that my father held onto some piece of muggle trash whenever he wanted to Portkey to the Ministry did you? And it isn't as if he'd want his groceries to be delivered with some piece of crap dug out of the cesspool you call a rubbish tip." He pulled himself together and started waltzing down the corridor together, "Next you'll suggest that they deliver groceries by Floo, ash notwithstanding."

"Fine, how about House Elves, _institutional slav-"_

"House Elves are magical constructs. Dobby was built by my father when he was about twenty-five and needed an advanced runes project for his mastery, so he tried to build a magical construct that would be free of the normal restraints we put onto it."

"Magical constructs? They have hopes, they have fears, they have wants."

"Complex magical constructs of course, but you only think that because they're projecting." He sighed, "Lets put it in other terms: Harry's patronus seems like it has a personality sometimes right?"

"I guess."

"Do you actually think his Patronus has a life?"

"No, it's just summoned up." She dug into her memory, seeking the book she'd read on it, "It's a magical construct of light and positive emotions, something that reflects the inner Wizard. It's why Dark Wizards can't cast it."

"Because we don't have positive emotions?"

A lecturing tone crept into her voice, "Dark Wizards lack the necessary positive impetus behind their casting. The Patronus Guardian is one of protection, of care, of love. That's why, when you use it for communication, it can only be used between two such people: I would, for instance, be unable to communicate with you because I don't view you as someone that requires protecting. It is, in essence, an entirely defensive spell." Her brow wrinkled again, "In theory, I wouldn't even be able to summon it with the intent of scaring you. It requires a purely defensive mindset that, as a Dark Wizard, you have to put aside in favour of offensive spells."

"For the most part, correct." He nodded. "So, then, why does it display a personality?"

"It's a reflection of our inner desire to protect and to guard."

"And so it might be affectionate towards those that you want to guard, you mean?"

"Essentially."

"Then why is it surprising that House Elves are so fanatical towards the people that they have been created to serve?" He raised an eyebrow, "Dobby was unusual because the normal restraints on House Elf behaviour were essentially removed. And he was imbibed with an experimental magical formula that mutated his behaviour more so."

Her voice was flat, "You're saying he was a genetic freak."

"He didn't have genes, but if you want to put it in those terms, yes." He paused, "Personally I prefer experimental labrat, but when I called him that he got very upset and my clothes were ironed badly for weeks." He blinked for a second, "The most confusing thing was that he didn't fade away when we cast him from the family."

"Because giving him clothes was an indication that you were withdrawing your magic?"

"If you're putting it in crass terms, yes. Every device has to have an off-switch. Even your wand does, in theory, though that's mostly connected to who is holding it and how they're holding it and how they came about it."

"Wands can't just be turned off."

"Tell that to Voldemort, Potter certainly did a good job of it."

"Harry didn't do anything of the kind!"

"Did he want his wand to kill him?"

"Of course not."

"And you say he didn't do anything." Draco snorted, "I thought you read books Granger."

"I do!"

"Obviously the wrong ones."

"Fine! What about the Moon landing? Muggles send spaceships up into space on a monthl-"

Draco winced as he cut her off, "Filling the sky with pollution is hardly something to be applauded."

"It's still an achievement to get out there though."

"Yeah. I was taken skiing on the moon when I was 6. My family has a ski chalet that turns a nice profit every year."

Hermione blinked.

"Come on Granger, don't look so shocked. 1438, some guy tried to get to the Moon on a broomstick. You don't think he just decided to stop trying there did you? Our first colony was established back in the 19th century, and we've been pushing out into the rest of the solar system since. It's why we learn Astrology."

"What?"

"How else would you navigate when you're flying between the planets?" he snorted, "I suppose it might be a bit hard to understand, but knowing how to move between the planets without a tracking device is immensely useful sometimes, even if we do have other options."

"Like floo?"

"Good luck flooing to the Moon. Let me know when you get there. It's horrendously slow. It takes nearly ten minutes to get to America!"

"10 minutes?" Hermione blinked, "It takes 10 hours for me to fly there on a plane."

"Quite." His voice was extremely snarky, his feet leading them up towards the Astronomy Tower, "You saw how they do it in our 6th year. What did you think those cabinets were?"

"You use the cabinets to travel between planets?"

"They're instantaneous, no matter how far apart they are. Quantum tunnelling effect if I remember my Arithmancy correct." He paused, "Didn't you take Arithmancy as well?"

"Only up to OWL level. It was just so basic."

"Everyone has to start somewhere Granger. Even Wizards."

"You learn about Quantum tunneling at NEWT level?"

He smirked, "I'm a prodigy Granger, didn't you know?"

She gaped, "So that's why I was only third."

"You knew about Greengrass then?" He raised an eyebrow, "I believe it was her family that developed the maths to handle the Vanishing Cabinet Relay Systems back in the 1500s when flying carpets started to come under criticism for attracting too much attention in the night sky. Obscuring stars and the like. The Muggles got very excited."

"That was the Greengrass family?" A dazed look came into her eyes, "I wonder if they managed to solve the Rubentin effect yet."

Malfoy snorted, "I hope not. That's part of my Thesis work in my Mastery after I finish at Hogwarts."

"Research? You're going into research?"

"You aren't?"

"I was going to go into politics. Become Minister for Magic."

"I never thought you'd aim so low down the ladder."

She eyed him, not sure if he was being sarcastic or not, "What would you suggest then?"

"Certainly something higher than just a provincial civil servant." He leaned towards her a little, "I always thought you'd go into research as well to be honest. Department of Mysteries would love to have you."

"How do you know that?"

"Uncle works there." He sighed, "It'd be up your street too. Wonders of the universe, the unsolvable questions."

"Unsolvable?"

"Unless you have some kind of explanation for the irrationalities of love, the source of sentience, the relentless surge of time…" he trailed off thoughtfully, "Though I suppose that they must be getting somewhere with them given that they finally managed to make time turners work a few decades ago."

"That's true." She nodded, "Comfortable to use too."

"When the fuck did you use one?" His shocked and angry tone was so jarring considering the almost civil nature of his slow travel through all of the preconceptions she had of the conversation that they were having that Hermione jolted to a halt and grabbed his arm.

"Why do you sound so angry? They gave me one back in third year."

He stared at her for a long moment before resting his head gently against the wall, "They let you breach causality for the sake of lessons. I wondered how you were taking all of your lessons. That's ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Utterly and completely ludicrous." His eyes closed, giving him a moment to regather himself, "Tell me it was Dumbledore that suggested it, please."

"It was. Why?"

"Because if it was McGonagall then I'd feel bad about reporting it to my Uncle. They don't take kindly to that kind of shit down there. Time is a delicate weave. Everyone knows that."

"They didn't even give me any instructions." A look of dawning horror was on her face as she realised just how horribly it could have all ended. "Just a turner and an instruction to not misuse it."

"Fucking hell."

They commiserated together in their for a minute before she stared at him, "Wait, flying between the planets?"

"Where did you think all the wizards lived?" He gestured around him, "The only Wizards on Earth are researchers and the bare essentials of maintaining the planet."

"What about Diagon Alley?"

"The sole shopping mall of the planet?" He raised an eyebrow, "Imagine if we had to travel all over the planet to get our books and our supplies. Just be grateful it exists in the first place, instantaneous travel notwithstanding."

"Beauxbatons, Hogwarts, Durmstrang, the other schools. If this is just a research planet, then why are there so many schoo-"

He raised an eyebrow, "You honestly think that thousands of researchers don't have children? Interplanetary travel isn't particularly pleasant Granger, even with a Vanishing Cabinet to assist. Nor is it cheap." He frowned, "Not that it's a problem for anyone that works on Earth you understand, it's very well paid. It has to be to put up with the wildlife."

"The wildlife isn't that bad!"

"It is when it tries to _shoot you with a primitive weapon_." He hissed again, his voice turning sibilant as his fingers dropped into quotation marks that waggled to emphasise his point, "My grandfather was killed by one of your pathetic "police officers" in the "line of duty". They didn't even stop to ask him for identification, or even apologise to us. Filthy animals, no decorum, barely any respect. It took us nearly six hundred years to teach you some civilized languages."

"What was he doing at the time?"

Draco shifted uneasily, "He needed some test subjects."

"You test on Muggles?" Her voice rose to a screech, echoing off the rafters above them in the tower as she strode forwards, her finger jabbing into his chest, "What kind of filth are you?"

"Hey!" He rose both his hands defensively, his wand safely stowed in it's holster, "You guys test on rats. This isn't that different." He paused, "Though there's probably a few more of you even if you don't breed quite so quick."

"Why test on Muggles though?"

"Same reason you test on apes." He shrugged, "Closest thing we can get to a Wizard that isn't really worth anything."

"What if they're related to another Wizard?"

"Because there aren't charms to test for that." Draco began to sound more sardonic once more, "In the last five hundred years, this situation didn't arise a single time and we didn't have to think up a single way to solve this issue."

"Why only the last five hundred years?"

"Before that we abducted you at birth."

There was no chance of his tone being sarcastic or jokey this time, and Hermione just stared at him again.

"What? It was safer." He frowned, "It certainly stopped conversations like this one from being a regular occurrence."

"Whats wrong with conversations like this one then? You have to start trying to explain your point of view to someone at some point. Rome wasn't built in a d-"

"What books _are_ you reading Granger, seriously?" He raised an eyebrow, "You aren't reading that fanfiction trash that's written about your boyfriend are you? A dirty little secret you haven't told him yet?"

There was the sound of silence for a second as Hermione's face flooded with red before the crack of hand on flesh filled the air and she stormed away.

Draco stared after her for a second, touching his cheek with an air of surprise, his eyes slowly blinking. "I guess she really is dating Potter then. Merlin."

**AN: Marked as complete because I don't think I'm going to add any more to this. Feel free to expand the plot bunny. Some ideas that I wanted to explore but won't unless I come back to this AU:**

** \- Ron wanted to be a Quidditch player because the next stage after that is being an astronaut (or wizarding equivalent)  
**** \- Harry presumed Hermione knew anyway, and the holiday he'd already invited her on (a boating trip for just the two of them) was actually a boating trip on a spaceboat.  
\- ****Dragon preserves in space. Because space dragons are about as cool as space whales.  
**** \- Goblin rebellions are roughly about the time that Wizards started mining various asteroid belts, hence reducing the value of gold and other resources drastically.  
**** \- The Wizarding War wasn't a war about whether wizards were superior to muggles, but rather whether wizards had a civil responsibility to look after muggles or whether they should just exterminate what they view as a rather persistent pest: this splits them roughly into the Dumbledore camp (all animals deserve to live) and the Voldemort camp (animals live to serve the benefit of the superior race).  
**** \- Draco is horrified when Hermione is proud that her parents recycle. Not because they're recycling, but because it implies that not all Muggles recycle.  
**** \- Further exploration of the "House Elves=Robots" comparisons I started to draw. Dobby as anomalous (think Bicentennial Man type of anomalous: wanted to be closer to human, viewed his death as a way of embracing humanity).  
**** \- Hogwarts as old research ground: grounds full of experiments (ie. centaurs, mermaids, giant squid) that proved to be successful.  
**** \- The Weasley family trip to Egypt in 2nd year where they "visited the pyramids" is a bit like "going to the science museum": Egyptians were the cutting edge researchers several thosand years ago and Bill was really enthusiastic about it.  
**** \- Shoplifting in the wizarding world is impossible. They put portkeys into everything and any time it leaves without being disabled, it just reappears on the shelf. Seamus tells Hermione about this after he and Dean were caught trying to steal Firewhiskey from the sketchy off-licence in Hogsmeade.  
**** \- Lack of wizards in America because it's viewed as a Muggle-preservation zone, similar to wildlife reserves in 21st century real world.  
**** \- A small group of wizards being able to completely steamroll entire armies of Muggles by becoming completely undetectable, having unblockable spells that instantly kill, being able to modify memories, force actions, remove buildings from maps and from the real world (like Grimmauld Place not being there unless you knew it was)**

**There are many, many others that you could venture down if you were curious enough to go down into this rabbithole, and some of them have seen use in other fanfics.**

**I just don't understand how anyone thinks an advanced society hasn't had to develop methods of preventing the abuse of magic, and once you start innovating to stop people abusing it, you're going to continue. No society stagnates: there is always progression somewhere, or they are destroyed and replaced with a new society.**

**Frankly, the wizarding world is so overpowered in canonverse that I have no idea why there are any muggles left.**


End file.
